Reasons Why I Don’t Want To Be Fucked By A Horse

As everyone surely knows by now, here at thetallpeter.com, home of everything that’s tall about pete, we are at located categorically on the cutting edge of cultural concurrences in all the gayest and most retarded parts of the internet. Unlike most, we do not see the online zeitgeist as some sort of reprehensible omni-cancer that writhes and pulses abjectly as it swells and consumes; nay, us good folks at teepees exist harmoniously within the ‘geist – our relationship with the web is complex and meaningful, sort of like those parasites that live inside the mouths of fish. Continue reading Reasons Why I Don’t Want To Be Fucked By A Horse

How It Feels To Be Depressed But Also Have A Dig Dick

Here at Tall Peters, as one of the most hotly discussed web blogs, we receive a powerful stream of comments, mentions, and hashtags every day; a perpetual bombardment physically and virtually manifested in the form of both email and male genitalia.

Our readers can scarcely fathom the spectrum of disturbing stuff that gets asked of the dedicated, physically strong, and mentally cool team of boys here up in Tall Peters HQ – some really freaked up nonsense! Continue reading How It Feels To Be Depressed But Also Have A Dig Dick

Seven Rustic Autumn Recipes

Now that summer is down the fucking toilet for another year, it’s time to forget about all the good times in the outside world (easy for me – there were none) and think dimly about stuff which all stems from a primal desire to hibernate in a hole like the stupid and weak mammals that we are. Nothing says hibernation like autumn (for US readers: Fall), and nothing says autumn like making a large meal to eat. Here at tall petters com, where big dogs get touched (and more), we are big advocates of healthy eating. And by big, I mean fat! Most days however, after a hard day of crying loudly about our grotesquely pathetic lives, us peterers need consume gratuitous amounts of comfort food. As seasoned manchildren, our favourite recipes are of course the ones when we were young, so here we will talk of typical childhood staples from a place of empires and umpires (Cricket). Continue reading Seven Rustic Autumn Recipes

Stop Complimenting Me on my Dirty, Disgusting Beard

Yeah, I get it. You think this big piece of shit on my face is really something special. Well I have news for you. Yeah, it looks the same as all the big beards you see online these days hanging off the minuscule chins of chicken-legged freaks . Really cool, but I am begging you to stop. Continue reading Stop Complimenting Me on my Dirty, Disgusting Beard

John McCain: A Life in Pictures

Today, and for the rest of this week, and perhaps even most of next week, we mourn one of the finest public servants who ever lived. No other figure in modern politics has enjoyed such broad support, garnering effusive praise from everyone from moderate Democrats to right-leaning Democrats. And we here at Tall Peters are no exception. Continue reading John McCain: A Life in Pictures

Trending Donald Trump

Trending Donald Trump Trending Donald Trump Trending Donald Trump Trending Donald Trump Trending Donald Trump Trending Donald Trump Trending Donald Trump Trending Donald Trump Trending Donald Trump Trending Donald Trump Trending Donald Trump Trending Donald Trump Trending Donald Trump Trending Donald Trump Trending Donald Trump Trending Donald Trump Trending Donald Trump Trending Donald Trump Trending Donald Trump Trending Donald Trump Trending Donald Trump Trending Donald Trump Trending Donald Trump  Continue reading Trending Donald Trump

Excerpt: “11 Guidelines for Living” by Jordan Peters

Editor’s note: The following is an excerpt from 11 Guidelines for Living: A Recipe for Orderliness by Professor Jordan Peters, PhD. Due to a confidential funding arrangement, Tall Peters is required to occassionally republish the work of of Prof. Peters without comment. However, we would like to stress that the views expressed herein are strictly his own, and do not represent those of the Tall Peters Publishing Company or its board of directors. Continue reading Excerpt: “11 Guidelines for Living” by Jordan Peters

RUSSIAGATE BOMBSHELL: EXCLUSIVE LEAKED EMAILS REVEAL SECRET RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN PUTIN AND GREEN PARTY CANDIDATE JILL STEIN

It came as no surprise earlier this month when we learned that former folk-rock singer/anti-science crusader/woman hater Jill Stein was being investigated for collusion with Russia. She possesses all the classic traits of a Soviet double agent: her so-called “leftist” politics, her constant efforts to undermine the democratic process, her smooth rockstar charisma. All qualities that she shares with that other confirmed Russian collaborator, Bernie Sanders. (They’re also both Jews. Just stating the facts here.) Continue reading RUSSIAGATE BOMBSHELL: EXCLUSIVE LEAKED EMAILS REVEAL SECRET RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN PUTIN AND GREEN PARTY CANDIDATE JILL STEIN