Listen, we’ve all heard the rumors. The Internet has been buzzing with speculation about who Marge’s new boy-toy is going to be on Fox’s long-running animated series The Simpsons ever since it was hinted at that a new man might be taking Homer’s place. “Who’s it gonna be?” It’s nearly impossible to find a single comment section online that isn’t flooded with speculation. Everyone wants to know, and who can blame us? The Simpsons is a classic with characters we have grown to love over the twenty-eight seasons it has been chugging along. We laughed when Maude died. We cried when Bart had to get rid of Stampy. They’re our best friends. It’s only human to want to know what’s going on in their lives!
Well, I’m here today with incredible news. The wait is over. Weeks of thorough detective work have finally paid off, and we have the answer you all have been waiting for. Are you ready? Take a deep breath!! US Republican Presidential Candidate Donald Trump will soon be playing the role of Marge’s new love interest on Fox’s animated chuckle factory, and we here at Tall Peters couldn’t be more excited! We’ve all seen what a jokester “The Donald” can be, and there’s no doubt that he will be able to bring in the big laughs that we have all come to expect from America’s favorite yellow family.
The details about Trump’s The Simpsons debut are still a bit fuzzy as our source did not want to give too much away, but we do know a few tidbits that we have been dying to share. Here’s the lowdown: A major hunk (Ronald) has moved into the old Bush house on Evergreen Terrace, and Marge cannot keep her eyes off of him. He’s even showing up in her dreams! Ever since it was revealed in Season 27 that Homer is suffering from erectile dysfunction, it has been clear that Marge is desperate to find someone who can give her the sexual satisfaction she feels she deserves. I mean, who can forget the lusty evening she spent with Moe and Barney in the alley behind Moe’s Tavern? She knows it’s wrong, but she just can’t help herself. Ronald has it all. Wit, charm, and a rock hard bod. How can Homer even compete? I wish we knew more, but we are all just going to have to wait until the big night to find out.
When asked about the details for this particular episode our source (who wished to remain anonymous and will be referred to as M*** G*******) had this to say:
“Well, we have always done our best to keep our program hip and with the times, and with the ‘cuck’ word and Donald Trump becoming more popular online, we thought it was fitting to incorporate these things into the plot. Having Homer jack off while he watches Donald Trump perform sexual acts on his wife is a hilarious concept that I think all the kids will be able to relate to.”
Sounds juicy! I don’t know about you all, but I can’t wait to see all the wacky situations Mr. Trump gets into during his time in Springfield. Details about the title of the episode and when it will air are still a mystery, but our source claims it will definitely be available for our viewing pleasure sometime before November 8th. I don’t know about the rest of you, but I could not be more excited. “Simpsons did it” once again!