Have you seen this thing? This hideous turd stuck in Jell-O that everyone keeps blabbing on about? Well, if you haven’t, a chunk of rock was found with… wait for it: a “dinosaur tail” inside of it. Yeah, people STILL believe in dinosaurs even after they’ve been debunked time and time again by people who know far more about the world than any scientist I’ve ever met. Seriously. Why do people keep humoring these archaeologist frauds? Can’t they see that these scientists are pawns of the liberal media being paid to poison our minds with outlandish beliefs and take our attention off of the things in life that are truly important? We should be focusing on ways to make our planet into something we can finally be proud of instead of doting on this false past that is nothing more than a fantasy. This archaeological “research” isn’t doing anyone any good. All it does is plant the seeds of wickedness in the minds of our youth and cause more unnecessary corruption. Remember what happened after Jurassic Park? No, you probably don’t. Those events, like so many others, were covered up by the liberal media. I, however, will never forget. How could I?
“Dinosaurs are nothing more than a fantasy and believing in them is just as harmful as playing video games and reading Harry Potter.” Image by GravisZro and Ba’Gamnan
Society simply lost their minds after they saw the chaos caused by the gigantic lizards on the silver screen. Teenagers were running wild through the streets screeching at the top of their lungs wishing that they too could be like the terrible beasts they saw in the movie. My wife and I couldn’t sleep for weeks. One night I was so afraid that one of them would break into my home and try to eat my lungs that I spent the entire night sitting on the front porch with my shotgun. The mayhem I witnessed was something I will not soon forget. Young men and women prowling the streets hunched over like animals. I watched a group of them flip over my neighbor’s car and howl at the sky like a pack of wild dogs from Hell. It sent a chill down my spine to see them stare across the street at me with their cold soulless eyes. Sometimes I still hear those guttural groans in my nightmares. I wake up soaked in sweat in my bed all alone because my wife is no longer there to comfort me. She left me last year after Jurassic World was released to the public, and I decided to spend six months in my underground shelter. I pleaded with her to come down with me and wait out the carnage, but she refused to listen. When I finally returned to the surface, she was gone. I do not know what happened to her, but I suspect she was taken by the neo-dinosauria and sacrificed to whatever heathen reptile god they worship. I don’t dare investigate out of fear of being taken myself. The reptilian cult has eyes and ears all around us. Simply writing this article is putting me in tremendous danger, but I don’t care. I refuse to struggle under their scaly thumb any longer. I’m a human being, and I’m going to fight for my right to live my life to the fullest during my time on this planet. I’m begging you all to please stop giving attention to these archaeological hoaxes. Stop fueling these lies that are corrupting the youth of our great nation. Dinosaurs are nothing more than a fantasy and believing in them is just as harmful as playing video games and reading Harry Potter.
You are all probably wondering, “What exactly is this thing if it isn’t a dinosaur tail?” Allow me to be clear: Who cares? What does it matter? Have you been to the movies lately? Everything is fake. I’m sure this photograph is some sort of CGI abomination like all the other fake fanatical hogwash we are subjecting ourselves and our children to. Some idiot probably cooked that picture up in an image manipulation program overnight for the con artists at National Geographic. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was the same person that makes that horrible liberal propaganda Adventure Time. I don’t know. I don’t have answers, and I’m not going to waste my time finding them. I already know deep down in my heart that this “dinosaur tail” is nothing more than a false flag to divert our attention from the terrible things taking place in this country that I will not remind you of in this article. I refuse to take my eyes off of the goals I know we can achieve just because some phony baloney scientist says he found a rock, and you shouldn’t either. I urge you all to keep an eye on your children and make sure they are not exposed to this poisonous online content. Stay strong and use your heads. Don’t let the wicked ones win.