Have you seen this thing? This hideous turd stuck in Jell-O that everyone keeps blabbing on about? Well, if you haven’t, a chunk of rock was found with… wait for it: a “dinosaur tail” inside of it. Yeah, people STILL believe in dinosaurs even after they’ve been debunked time and time again by people who know far more about the world than any scientist I’ve ever met. Seriously. Why do people keep humoring these archaeologist frauds? Can’t they see that these scientists are pawns of the liberal media being paid to poison our minds with outlandish beliefs and take our attention off of the things in life that are truly important? We should be focusing on ways to make our planet into something we can finally be proud of instead of doting on this false past that is nothing more than a fantasy. Continue reading That Hideous “Dinosaur Tail” Is Nothing but More FAKE NEWS and LIBERAL PROPAGANDA
Well, Peter Heads, Thanksgiving is finally over. I don’t know about you all, but I had to write a letter to Old Saint Nick asking for a brand new belt to restrain my overwhelming girth. Heh, I’m just kidding, gang. I don’t need a belt because I never change out of my piss-stained sweatpants. Anyway, it’s that time again when we are all faced with the same question that haunts us year after year: What the heck am I gonna do with all this leftover turkey? Continue reading What to Do with All This Leftover Turkey??
Listen, we’ve all heard the rumors. The Internet has been buzzing with speculation about who Marge’s new boy-toy is going to be on Fox’s long-running animated series The Simpsons ever since it was hinted at that a new man might be taking Homer’s place. “Who’s it gonna be?” It’s nearly impossible to find a single comment section online that isn’t flooded with speculation. Everyone wants to know, and who can blame us? The Simpsons is a classic with characters we have grown to love over the twenty-eight seasons it has been chugging along. We laughed when Maude died. We cried when Bart had to get rid of Stampy. They’re our best friends. It’s only human to want to know what’s going on in their lives!
Continue reading Donald Trump to Guest Star on The Simpsons? [MAJOR SPOILERS]