All posts by trevordrinkwater

a real class act

John McCain: A Life in Pictures

Today, and for the rest of this week, and perhaps even most of next week, we mourn one of the finest public servants who ever lived. No other figure in modern politics has enjoyed such broad support, garnering effusive praise from everyone from moderate Democrats to right-leaning Democrats. And we here at Tall Peters are no exception. Continue reading John McCain: A Life in Pictures

Excerpt: “11 Guidelines for Living” by Jordan Peters

Editor’s note: The following is an excerpt from 11 Guidelines for Living: A Recipe for Orderliness by Professor Jordan Peters, PhD. Due to a confidential funding arrangement, Tall Peters is required to occassionally republish the work of of Prof. Peters without comment. However, we would like to stress that the views expressed herein are strictly his own, and do not represent those of the Tall Peters Publishing Company or its board of directors. Continue reading Excerpt: “11 Guidelines for Living” by Jordan Peters

RUSSIAGATE BOMBSHELL: EXCLUSIVE LEAKED EMAILS REVEAL SECRET RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN PUTIN AND GREEN PARTY CANDIDATE JILL STEIN

It came as no surprise earlier this month when we learned that former folk-rock singer/anti-science crusader/woman hater Jill Stein was being investigated for collusion with Russia. She possesses all the classic traits of a Soviet double agent: her so-called “leftist” politics, her constant efforts to undermine the democratic process, her smooth rockstar charisma. All qualities that she shares with that other confirmed Russian collaborator, Bernie Sanders. (They’re also both Jews. Just stating the facts here.) Continue reading RUSSIAGATE BOMBSHELL: EXCLUSIVE LEAKED EMAILS REVEAL SECRET RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN PUTIN AND GREEN PARTY CANDIDATE JILL STEIN

A Broke Dad’s Guide to Christmas, Part Two

Oh shit! Is it December again already? Another year has flown by, and you’ve been so busy exploding into apoplectic rage on a daily basis over the president’s poorly-worded tweets and questionable dietary habits that, once again, you completely forgot to put aside any money to buy overpriced electronic junk for your filthy children. Last year, we helped you appease those ungrateful little vermin with some clever gift ideas that didn’t cost you a dime, but you promised them that this year would be different. So if you want to keep your family from completely falling apart, you’re really gonna have to get creative this time. Continue reading A Broke Dad’s Guide to Christmas, Part Two

Tall Peters’ Guide to Choosing the Right Halloween Costume in 2017

Well, it’s that time of year again. October, the spookiest of all months, is in full swing, and proud American tradition dictates that you choose a culture or ethnicity other than your own to wear as a costume while you get sloshed. But wait! These days, wearing the wrong cultural identity can land you in hot water, so you better choose carefully or you might end up with your head on the social media chopping block. Continue reading Tall Peters’ Guide to Choosing the Right Halloween Costume in 2017

These Drawings My Brilliant Son Made Perfectly Sum Up Donald Trump’s Presidency

They say wisdom comes from the mouths of babes, and there’s no better testament to that nugget of truth than my amazing son Jaystin. He may be only six years old, but he’s smarter, more considerate, and more politically aware than most adults these days. Continue reading These Drawings My Brilliant Son Made Perfectly Sum Up Donald Trump’s Presidency

Simply Astounding Facts About DOGS

WARNING: The following post is for DOG LOVERS ONLY. If you’re one of those Cat People and you’ve come here to spread your vicious dog hate, you better stop reading this right now, because you are NOT wanted here. As for my fellow Dog Persons, please enjoy these unbelievable-but-true facts about our favorite four-legged friends. Continue reading Simply Astounding Facts About DOGS

The 10 Best Songs of the 1990s

Hey! We all remember the 90s, right? I know I do! If you don’t, what the hell is wrong with you? I mean, it wasn’t that long ago. What are you, some kind of little baby? Get out of here, you little baby! Babies aren’t supposed to be online. Go play with your baby toys or learn to walk or something. This post is for grownups like me who remember that classic era and all the timeless pop culture that came with it. Continue reading The 10 Best Songs of the 1990s

Don’t Blame Me, I Voted For Goku

The 2016 presidential election will be sure to go down in history as one of the greatest upsets in American history. Even now, weeks after the inauguration, many of us are still in disbelief that human garbage can Donald John Trump somehow managed to defeat an opponent who was infinitely more qualified, more experienced, and superior in every conceivable way. I’m talking, of course, about Goku. Continue reading Don’t Blame Me, I Voted For Goku

Prepare to Be Blown Away by How Little I Care About the Big Football Game or Whatever

Oh, is there a Super Bowl happening tomorrow? Weird, I didn’t even notice. I must have been too busy Not Giving a Single Heck About Sports. Yeah, you heard me. Pretty shocking, huh? I bet you’ve never met anybody who doesn’t care about the Super Bowl as much as I don’t care about the Super Bowl. Continue reading Prepare to Be Blown Away by How Little I Care About the Big Football Game or Whatever