All posts by trevordrinkwater

a real class act

Frasier Crane: Conclusion

It’s been nearly three years since we shared the first excerpt from Kelsey Grammer’s rejected pilot script for a dark and gritty Frasier reboot. And now, at long last, we are able to present to you the final 10 pages of this twisted saga, obtained exclusively from a source close to Mr. Grammer. Please ignore the fact that in previous installments we referred to Frasier Crane as a feature-length screenplay. We were mistaken; it actually is and always has been a one-hour TV pilot. Continue reading Frasier Crane: Conclusion

What If The Peters Boys Were Characters From The Aquaman Film?!

Have you ever wondered what it might be like if the beloved members of the Tall Peters Comedy Collective (TPCC) played all the characters in the 2018 smash hit film Aquaman? Well, wonder no more, because I’ve used my expert photo-editing skills to envision this very scenario! Can you believe that shit? The very thing that you were definitely wondering about is already a reality, because I thought ahead and made it fucking happen. And I think it would go a little something like this… Continue reading What If The Peters Boys Were Characters From The Aquaman Film?!

That Stupid Ass Beatles Movie “Yesterday” (Which I Have Not Seen) Opened My Eyes, And Now I Know What Must Be Done

Gentlemen, we’ve finally done it. The year is 1959, and we’ve achieved the impossible: we’ve traveled back in time and saved the course of human history from the scourge that would be known as… THE BEATLES. And though the world will never know our sacrifice, we can rest assured that the deaths of these four young men, now mere footnotes in the story of the 20th century, will bring about generations of boundless peace and prosperity. And to think, it all began 60 years from now, when I saw a post on Twitter.com… Continue reading That Stupid Ass Beatles Movie “Yesterday” (Which I Have Not Seen) Opened My Eyes, And Now I Know What Must Be Done

HOLLYWOOD EXCLUSIVE: NEW LEAKED DETAILS ON POTENTIAL “FRASIER” REUNION

Over the past year, rumors have been swirling about a possible revival of the beloved NBC sitcom Frasier, though star Kelsey Grammer has expressed some doubt about the prospects of the classic show returning to the airwaves, apparently concerned about getting it just right. Recently, during an appearance on The Late Late Show, Grammer got a little more specific about his hesitation to jump into any old reboot:

“The first principle is that it is a different story, basically,” he told host James Corden. “Same group of characters but in a different setting. Something has changed in their lives. Certainly John Mahoney died over a year ago and we would probably deal with that a little bit with dad being gone.”

Grammer calls the potential revival “the third act of Frasier rather than trying to pick it up, like Will & Grace did, right where they were.”

Continue reading HOLLYWOOD EXCLUSIVE: NEW LEAKED DETAILS ON POTENTIAL “FRASIER” REUNION

John McCain: A Life in Pictures

Today, and for the rest of this week, and perhaps even most of next week, we mourn one of the finest public servants who ever lived. No other figure in modern politics has enjoyed such broad support, garnering effusive praise from everyone from moderate Democrats to right-leaning Democrats. And we here at Tall Peters are no exception. Continue reading John McCain: A Life in Pictures

Excerpt: “11 Guidelines for Living” by Jordan Peters

Editor’s note: The following is an excerpt from 11 Guidelines for Living: A Recipe for Orderliness by Professor Jordan Peters, PhD. Due to a confidential funding arrangement, Tall Peters is required to occassionally republish the work of of Prof. Peters without comment. However, we would like to stress that the views expressed herein are strictly his own, and do not represent those of the Tall Peters Publishing Company or its board of directors. Continue reading Excerpt: “11 Guidelines for Living” by Jordan Peters

RUSSIAGATE BOMBSHELL: EXCLUSIVE LEAKED EMAILS REVEAL SECRET RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN PUTIN AND GREEN PARTY CANDIDATE JILL STEIN

It came as no surprise earlier this month when we learned that former folk-rock singer/anti-science crusader/woman hater Jill Stein was being investigated for collusion with Russia. She possesses all the classic traits of a Soviet double agent: her so-called “leftist” politics, her constant efforts to undermine the democratic process, her smooth rockstar charisma. All qualities that she shares with that other confirmed Russian collaborator, Bernie Sanders. (They’re also both Jews. Just stating the facts here.) Continue reading RUSSIAGATE BOMBSHELL: EXCLUSIVE LEAKED EMAILS REVEAL SECRET RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN PUTIN AND GREEN PARTY CANDIDATE JILL STEIN

A Broke Dad’s Guide to Christmas, Part Two

Oh shit! Is it December again already? Another year has flown by, and you’ve been so busy exploding into apoplectic rage on a daily basis over the president’s poorly-worded tweets and questionable dietary habits that, once again, you completely forgot to put aside any money to buy overpriced electronic junk for your filthy children. Last year, we helped you appease those ungrateful little vermin with some clever gift ideas that didn’t cost you a dime, but you promised them that this year would be different. So if you want to keep your family from completely falling apart, you’re really gonna have to get creative this time. Continue reading A Broke Dad’s Guide to Christmas, Part Two

Tall Peters’ Guide to Choosing the Right Halloween Costume in 2017

Well, it’s that time of year again. October, the spookiest of all months, is in full swing, and proud American tradition dictates that you choose a culture or ethnicity other than your own to wear as a costume while you get sloshed. But wait! These days, wearing the wrong cultural identity can land you in hot water, so you better choose carefully or you might end up with your head on the social media chopping block. Continue reading Tall Peters’ Guide to Choosing the Right Halloween Costume in 2017

These Drawings My Brilliant Son Made Perfectly Sum Up Donald Trump’s Presidency

They say wisdom comes from the mouths of babes, and there’s no better testament to that nugget of truth than my amazing son Jaystin. He may be only six years old, but he’s smarter, more considerate, and more politically aware than most adults these days. Continue reading These Drawings My Brilliant Son Made Perfectly Sum Up Donald Trump’s Presidency