All posts by wankhaver

Lifting The Toilet Seat Up Is For Dumb Ass Holes

Every assigned male man around in real life has had a woman screech at them about the loo lid being up. Us woke folks at tall peter com know a secret trick that can save you this perpetual whinge and also shave a good few seconds off your Peesonal Best (mine is down to a tidy 1.683s[seconds]). No gimmicks here folks: just never lift the seat. Never ever lift the seat up when you pee. Stop -! Do Not Lift That Seat. Continue reading Lifting The Toilet Seat Up Is For Dumb Ass Holes

6 Festive Ways To Commit Suicide

Welp folks it’s Christmas time again and if there’s one thing that people are gonna be doing at this time of year, it’s killing themselves like crazy. Committing suicide at Christmas might be considered something of a cliché by most, but here at Tall Peters dot com we feel like people have forgotten the true meaning of killing themselves at Christmas so we’re reaching out to as many would-be suiciders as possible. It can be hard in this season of excessive self-inflicted deaths to really stand out when committing your suicide, so we’ve devised a few tips to help you immortalise yourself as that special snowflake that you know you are.

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Why  Frogs Are So Good At Being Memes

At least six thousand years ago, when dinosaurs ruled the earth, there was only one continent, zero memes, and only two genders. The tyranny of the ‘saurs saw a soar in the oppression of other vertebrates; fish, once proud supple muscular warriors of the land, fled to the dark ocean. Birds, gallant rapists of the forest floor had to grow wings and take their weird dicks up to the cold skies. Mammals lived in holes and fucked each other quietly up the arses. Reptiles also had slimier, more flamboyant cousins called amphibians who were rightfully shunned because of their pathetic name for a class of vertebrates that only highlights that all they were ever good for was being an evolutionary bridge between land and water. Continue reading Why  Frogs Are So Good At Being Memes