Category Archives: Culture

Why The Internet is Actually Shrinking

Ever wake up at night in a puddle of cold sweat or stale piss (not sure which) worried about how grotesquely big and fat the internet is getting. In less enlightened times past, us pallid weenie nerd losers at The Tallsome Peter Foundation have too. And if we were to take the government’s word for it, (fat chance!!!!!!!!!), we will swallow down the tall tale that the internet is growing exponentially and more really good web type stuff like retweets and frog memes and gargantuan anime .pngs are being rabidly uploaded to the websnet at all seconds of the day.  But actually this is not what is happening in real life, and the wokest among us are realising more and more of the internet is disappearing all of the time. Ever tried scrolling to the end of the front page of Reddit.com? You can’t go very far. Or scrolling all the way down your news feed on Facebook? You’re more likely to win the lottery – twice. Or how about getting all the way to the last page of a porn category on xvideos? No chance. Your dick would be a deflated slimy lump before you even hit page 69.

Continue reading Why The Internet is Actually Shrinking

Just Literally Quick, Cheap, and Breathtakingly Easy Recipes for the Young and Modern Professional Who Simply Cannot Even

We’ve all been there, folks. Twelve hours at the office slapping away at the keyboard doing lord only knows what so our boss can go on his third vacation of the year in June, and you’re too worn out to feed yourself when you finally get home. Cooking is hard, and food is expensive. Sometimes it feels like there’s no point in running on this treadmill we call life. Continue reading Just Literally Quick, Cheap, and Breathtakingly Easy Recipes for the Young and Modern Professional Who Simply Cannot Even

The 10 Best Songs of the 1990s

Hey! We all remember the 90s, right? I know I do! If you don’t, what the hell is wrong with you? I mean, it wasn’t that long ago. What are you, some kind of little baby? Get out of here, you little baby! Babies aren’t supposed to be online. Go play with your baby toys or learn to walk or something. This post is for grownups like me who remember that classic era and all the timeless pop culture that came with it. Continue reading The 10 Best Songs of the 1990s

Video Game Review – The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild

Wow, I can’t believe it. After (add later) years in the making, it is finally here. That’s right, I’m talking about the newest entry in Nintendo’s video game series The Legend of Zelda for the new video game system “the Switch”. I got one, and I couldn’t wait to play it. I am not lying. I really do have a Swinch, and I am playing it right now. Why would I lie? It’s so great. I love video games, and I have played all of the Legend of Zelda games there are. My favorite is (add later). I love that game so much. I have so many fond memories of playing it when I was a child and talking about it with all of my friends at school instead of playing sports. I didn’t play sports in school because I love video games is what I mean. Especially The Legend of Zelda!! 😀 Continue reading Video Game Review – The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild

Don’t Blame Me, I Voted For Goku

The 2016 presidential election will be sure to go down in history as one of the greatest upsets in American history. Even now, weeks after the inauguration, many of us are still in disbelief that human garbage can Donald John Trump somehow managed to defeat an opponent who was infinitely more qualified, more experienced, and superior in every conceivable way. I’m talking, of course, about Goku. Continue reading Don’t Blame Me, I Voted For Goku

Video Game Review – Nioh

Lately I’ve been hearing a lot of talk about this new video game from Team Ninja called Nioh. It’s supposed to be some sort of action video game inspired by the satanic Dark Souls series that I’ve been avoiding for years (religious reasons), but when I heard that it is supposed to be a historically accurate depiction of events that happened in Japan hundreds of years ago, I couldn’t resist. Continue reading Video Game Review – Nioh

Prepare to Be Blown Away by How Little I Care About the Big Football Game or Whatever

Oh, is there a Super Bowl happening tomorrow? Weird, I didn’t even notice. I must have been too busy Not Giving a Single Heck About Sports. Yeah, you heard me. Pretty shocking, huh? I bet you’ve never met anybody who doesn’t care about the Super Bowl as much as I don’t care about the Super Bowl. Continue reading Prepare to Be Blown Away by How Little I Care About the Big Football Game or Whatever

I Photoshopped Donald Trump onto a Bunch of Disney Bad Guys

Gonna make this quick and simple. 1. People don’t like Donald Trump. 2. People like to see cartoon characters from Disney movies. I don’t know why. For some reason normies go nuts for this stupid crap, so in an attempt to create some quality content for once, I decided to photoshop Donald Trump onto a bunch of Disney bad guys to get a bunch of clicks on the website. Sorry if I got some of these guys wrong. The only Disney movie I’ve ever seen is Bébé’s Kids. Enjoy! Continue reading I Photoshopped Donald Trump onto a Bunch of Disney Bad Guys