Stop me if this sounds familiar: You’ve had a busy day. You spent all morning reading about dope new tech on Gizmodo, then picked up your girlfriend’s kids from school, came home and binge-watched Gilmore Girls on Netflix for a few hours (admit it, boys, you KNOW you love it), and then your squad stopped by for a rousing game of Cards Against Humanity. Continue reading 7 Powerful Food Hacks Guaranteed to Help You Avoid Being Hungry
It has truly been busy for all of us here at the Tall Peters Labs this holiday season. While everyone else sipped egg nog and lit holiday candles with their loving families, we’ve had a crack team working around the clock to get to the bottom of this mystery about what effects online clickbait articles have on your brain. It took a lot of hard work and determination, but at long last we finally have undeniable results! Continue reading Does Clickbait Make You Smarter?
If you’re anything like me, you just can’t get enough of Jennifer Lawrence and her quirky antics! The adorable celeb has been a media darling ever since she first rose to prominence with her starring role in The Hunger Games, and this year has been no exception. Just when you think she can’t get any funnier or more charming, she always finds a way to top herself. So, in honor of the star’s 39th birthday this week, here is a list of our top 10 favorite classic JLaw moments from 2016. Continue reading Top 10 Most Adorable Jennifer Lawrence Moments of 2016
It’s that time of year again, gang. Christmas is coming up, and it just doesn’t feel right to buy your mother presents with the money she’s been secretly putting into your bank account to enable your sad, pathetic lifestyle. We’ve all been there. It’s finally time for you to step up to the plate and rake in the big bucks. Be an adult for once in your miserable life! Continue reading Fresh Hot Tips to Own Big Time at Your next Big Job Interview
Have you seen this thing? This hideous turd stuck in Jell-O that everyone keeps blabbing on about? Well, if you haven’t, a chunk of rock was found with… wait for it: a “dinosaur tail” inside of it. Yeah, people STILL believe in dinosaurs even after they’ve been debunked time and time again by people who know far more about the world than any scientist I’ve ever met. Seriously. Why do people keep humoring these archaeologist frauds? Can’t they see that these scientists are pawns of the liberal media being paid to poison our minds with outlandish beliefs and take our attention off of the things in life that are truly important? We should be focusing on ways to make our planet into something we can finally be proud of instead of doting on this false past that is nothing more than a fantasy. Continue reading That Hideous “Dinosaur Tail” Is Nothing but More FAKE NEWS and LIBERAL PROPAGANDA
In recent months, tensions surrounding the hotly contested 2016 presidential election have given rise to an exciting and dynamic new political movement called the “alt-right.” Though it originated on 4chan, a website mainly associated with anime-obsessed pedophiles, it has now spread all the way to Reddit, which is, by contrast, a bastion of civilized, intelligent discussion. Most shockingly, these alt-righters have now even been spotted gathering together in real life on occasion, sharing bold new ideas about the global Jewish conspiracy and the degeneracy of feminism. Since the alt-right movement is made up entirely of white males, one of their biggest bones of contention is an anti-white agenda that they perceive in the modern media, citing the liberal, Jew-run entertainment industry’s tendency to commit such appalling acts as casting nonwhite actors in a Star Wars movie, or hiring a woman to write a TV show. Continue reading 10 Scientifically-Proven, Undeniable Facts That Explain Why White Men Are Inferior To All Other Humans
At least six thousand years ago, when dinosaurs ruled the earth, there was only one continent, zero memes, and only two genders. The tyranny of the ‘saurs saw a soar in the oppression of other vertebrates; fish, once proud supple muscular warriors of the land, fled to the dark ocean. Birds, gallant rapists of the forest floor had to grow wings and take their weird dicks up to the cold skies. Mammals lived in holes and fucked each other quietly up the arses. Reptiles also had slimier, more flamboyant cousins called amphibians who were rightfully shunned because of their pathetic name for a class of vertebrates that only highlights that all they were ever good for was being an evolutionary bridge between land and water. Continue reading Why Frogs Are So Good At Being Memes
Well, Peter Heads, Thanksgiving is finally over. I don’t know about you all, but I had to write a letter to Old Saint Nick asking for a brand new belt to restrain my overwhelming girth. Heh, I’m just kidding, gang. I don’t need a belt because I never change out of my piss-stained sweatpants. Anyway, it’s that time again when we are all faced with the same question that haunts us year after year: What the heck am I gonna do with all this leftover turkey? Continue reading What to Do with All This Leftover Turkey??