Category Archives: Life Hacks

That Stupid Ass Beatles Movie “Yesterday” (Which I Have Not Seen) Opened My Eyes, And Now I Know What Must Be Done

Gentlemen, we’ve finally done it. The year is 1959, and we’ve achieved the impossible: we’ve traveled back in time and saved the course of human history from the scourge that would be known as… THE BEATLES. And though the world will never know our sacrifice, we can rest assured that the deaths of these four young men, now mere footnotes in the story of the 20th century, will bring about generations of boundless peace and prosperity. And to think, it all began 60 years from now, when I saw a post on Twitter.com… Continue reading That Stupid Ass Beatles Movie “Yesterday” (Which I Have Not Seen) Opened My Eyes, And Now I Know What Must Be Done

Reasons Why I Don’t Want To Be Fucked By A Horse

As everyone surely knows by now, here at thetallpeter.com, home of everything that’s tall about pete, we are at located categorically on the cutting edge of cultural concurrences in all the gayest and most retarded parts of the internet. Unlike most, we do not see the online zeitgeist as some sort of reprehensible omni-cancer that writhes and pulses abjectly as it swells and consumes; nay, us good folks at teepees exist harmoniously within the ‘geist – our relationship with the web is complex and meaningful, sort of like those parasites that live inside the mouths of fish. Continue reading Reasons Why I Don’t Want To Be Fucked By A Horse

How It Feels To Be Depressed But Also Have A Dig Dick

Here at Tall Peters, as one of the most hotly discussed web blogs, we receive a powerful stream of comments, mentions, and hashtags every day; a perpetual bombardment physically and virtually manifested in the form of both email and male genitalia.

Our readers can scarcely fathom the spectrum of disturbing stuff that gets asked of the dedicated, physically strong, and mentally cool team of boys here up in Tall Peters HQ – some really freaked up nonsense! Continue reading How It Feels To Be Depressed But Also Have A Dig Dick

Excerpt: “11 Guidelines for Living” by Jordan Peters

Editor’s note: The following is an excerpt from 11 Guidelines for Living: A Recipe for Orderliness by Professor Jordan Peters, PhD. Due to a confidential funding arrangement, Tall Peters is required to occassionally republish the work of of Prof. Peters without comment. However, we would like to stress that the views expressed herein are strictly his own, and do not represent those of the Tall Peters Publishing Company or its board of directors. Continue reading Excerpt: “11 Guidelines for Living” by Jordan Peters

A Broke Dad’s Guide to Christmas, Part Two

Oh shit! Is it December again already? Another year has flown by, and you’ve been so busy exploding into apoplectic rage on a daily basis over the president’s poorly-worded tweets and questionable dietary habits that, once again, you completely forgot to put aside any money to buy overpriced electronic junk for your filthy children. Last year, we helped you appease those ungrateful little vermin with some clever gift ideas that didn’t cost you a dime, but you promised them that this year would be different. So if you want to keep your family from completely falling apart, you’re really gonna have to get creative this time. Continue reading A Broke Dad’s Guide to Christmas, Part Two

Tall Peters’ Guide to Choosing the Right Halloween Costume in 2017

Well, it’s that time of year again. October, the spookiest of all months, is in full swing, and proud American tradition dictates that you choose a culture or ethnicity other than your own to wear as a costume while you get sloshed. But wait! These days, wearing the wrong cultural identity can land you in hot water, so you better choose carefully or you might end up with your head on the social media chopping block. Continue reading Tall Peters’ Guide to Choosing the Right Halloween Costume in 2017

It’s Here Folks, A Comprehensive List Of All The Good Faces To Zoom In On

Now here at Talking Peterheads we know there’s nothing around that funnier than a funny face pic to look at on the web. Theres lot of funny faces to browse upon, more than you can even believe. Because everybody knows about faces, they have got such good meme traction, it`s always a good bet to use a face somewhere when you do a meme. Many forget that while a funny face is a good meme, a zoomed in on funny face is the same amount of funny memeness multiplied by how closely upon that you zoom in. Continue reading It’s Here Folks, A Comprehensive List Of All The Good Faces To Zoom In On

Just Literally Quick, Cheap, and Breathtakingly Easy Recipes for the Young and Modern Professional Who Simply Cannot Even

We’ve all been there, folks. Twelve hours at the office slapping away at the keyboard doing lord only knows what so our boss can go on his third vacation of the year in June, and you’re too worn out to feed yourself when you finally get home. Cooking is hard, and food is expensive. Sometimes it feels like there’s no point in running on this treadmill we call life. Continue reading Just Literally Quick, Cheap, and Breathtakingly Easy Recipes for the Young and Modern Professional Who Simply Cannot Even

TOP TEN THINGS I WANT TO SEE GET DESTROYED BY A 1000 DEGREE HOT KNIFE

I gotta come clean and be completely honest with all you good folks out there. I cannot get enough of those dang Hot Knife videos on YOUTUBE.com. Have you seen this stuff? The guy takes a knife, gets it real hot, then he holds the knife up to an object and makes it hot too. Sometimes things get a little out of hand! Butter? You better believe that stuff melted and made a huge mess. This ain’t your mommy’s butter knife, baby!! This stuff is extreme and ADDICTING. Did I mention I cannot stop watching these insane videos? Continue reading TOP TEN THINGS I WANT TO SEE GET DESTROYED BY A 1000 DEGREE HOT KNIFE

Lifting The Toilet Seat Up Is For Dumb Ass Holes

Every assigned male man around in real life has had a woman screech at them about the loo lid being up. Us woke folks at tall peter com know a secret trick that can save you this perpetual whinge and also shave a good few seconds off your Peesonal Best (mine is down to a tidy 1.683s[seconds]). No gimmicks here folks: just never lift the seat. Never ever lift the seat up when you pee. Stop -! Do Not Lift That Seat. Continue reading Lifting The Toilet Seat Up Is For Dumb Ass Holes