Welp folks it’s Christmas time again and if there’s one thing that people are gonna be doing at this time of year, it’s killing themselves like crazy. Committing suicide at Christmas might be considered something of a cliché by most, but here at Tall Peters dot com we feel like people have forgotten the true meaning of killing themselves at Christmas so we’re reaching out to as many would-be suiciders as possible. It can be hard in this season of excessive self-inflicted deaths to really stand out when committing your suicide, so we’ve devised a few tips to help you immortalise yourself as that special snowflake that you know you are.
We’ve all been there. After another year of pissing away all your money on useless gadgets, nights out with your buddies, and get-rich-quick schemes, you realize that Christmas is around the corner again and you’re flat broke. Your bank account’s in the red, your credit cards are all maxed out, and you just know your boss is gonna stiff you on the holiday bonus because he’s still mad about the time you accidentally set fire to the men’s room. So what’s a dad to do? If you don’t bring home any presents, your family will hate you forever. Your kids will spit in your face, and your wife will never look at you again. But don’t you worry, because Tall Peters is at your service with some creative gift suggestions that won’t cost you a penny. Continue reading A Broke Dad’s Guide to Christmas
Well, Peter Heads, Thanksgiving is finally over. I don’t know about you all, but I had to write a letter to Old Saint Nick asking for a brand new belt to restrain my overwhelming girth. Heh, I’m just kidding, gang. I don’t need a belt because I never change out of my piss-stained sweatpants. Anyway, it’s that time again when we are all faced with the same question that haunts us year after year: What the heck am I gonna do with all this leftover turkey? Continue reading What to Do with All This Leftover Turkey??