It came as no surprise earlier this month when we learned that former folk-rock singer/anti-science crusader/woman hater Jill Stein was being investigated for collusion with Russia. She possesses all the classic traits of a Soviet double agent: her so-called “leftist” politics, her constant efforts to undermine the democratic process, her smooth rockstar charisma. All qualities that she shares with that other confirmed Russian collaborator, Bernie Sanders. (They’re also both Jews. Just stating the facts here.) Continue reading RUSSIAGATE BOMBSHELL: EXCLUSIVE LEAKED EMAILS REVEAL SECRET RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN PUTIN AND GREEN PARTY CANDIDATE JILL STEIN
They say wisdom comes from the mouths of babes, and there’s no better testament to that nugget of truth than my amazing son Jaystin. He may be only six years old, but he’s smarter, more considerate, and more politically aware than most adults these days. Continue reading These Drawings My Brilliant Son Made Perfectly Sum Up Donald Trump’s Presidency
Ever wake up at night in a puddle of cold sweat or stale piss (not sure which) worried about how grotesquely big and fat the internet is getting. In less enlightened times past, us pallid weenie nerd losers at The Tallsome Peter Foundation have too. And if we were to take the government’s word for it, (fat chance!!!!!!!!!), we will swallow down the tall tale that the internet is growing exponentially and more really good web type stuff like retweets and frog memes and gargantuan anime .pngs are being rabidly uploaded to the websnet at all seconds of the day. Continue reading Why The Internet is Actually Shrinking
Hey! We all remember the 90s, right? I know I do! If you don’t, what the hell is wrong with you? I mean, it wasn’t that long ago. What are you, some kind of little baby? Get out of here, you little baby! Babies aren’t supposed to be online. Go play with your baby toys or learn to walk or something. This post is for grownups like me who remember that classic era and all the timeless pop culture that came with it. Continue reading The 10 Best Songs of the 1990s
The 2016 presidential election will be sure to go down in history as one of the greatest upsets in American history. Even now, weeks after the inauguration, many of us are still in disbelief that human garbage can Donald John Trump somehow managed to defeat an opponent who was infinitely more qualified, more experienced, and superior in every conceivable way. I’m talking, of course, about Goku. Continue reading Don’t Blame Me, I Voted For Goku
Wow. We really did it, folks! We set up a
—> store <—
where you can purchase merchandise what says Tall Peters on it. Beautiful. Please buy something. My family needs to eat.
Oh, is there a Super Bowl happening tomorrow? Weird, I didn’t even notice. I must have been too busy Not Giving a Single Heck About Sports. Yeah, you heard me. Pretty shocking, huh? I bet you’ve never met anybody who doesn’t care about the Super Bowl as much as I don’t care about the Super Bowl. Continue reading Prepare to Be Blown Away by How Little I Care About the Big Football Game or Whatever
These days, it seems like everybody’s always fretting about the so-called “robot takeover.” Everywhere I go, I hear folks whining about how the machines are going to rise up and enslave humanity. But do these metal hunks-of-junk actually pose a real threat to humankind? Not on my watch. Continue reading I Ain’t Afraid of No Stupid Ass Robot
Nintendo, the greatest video game company of all time (possibly: I have to give a big shout out to the cats at Microsoft and Sony for their respectable consoles The X box #1 and the Playstation 4), recently announced its latest foray into the e-sports realm. Nintendo already has its roots firmly planted in this insane billion dollar autism colosseum industry, but with the latest announcement of its smash hit, Game of the Year, ARMS, it looks like we’ve found an early contender for Game of the Year. I believe it will win the big award at the Award shows. Get past the jump to see why! Well, go on!