It has truly been busy for all of us here at the Tall Peters Labs this holiday season. While everyone else sipped egg nog and lit holiday candles with their loving families, we’ve had a crack team working around the clock to get to the bottom of this mystery about what effects online clickbait articles have on your brain. It took a lot of hard work and determination, but at long last we finally have undeniable results! Continue reading Does Clickbait Make You Smarter?
Ugh, I don’t know about you all, but I am SO done with 2016. Let me be clear: it is without a doubt the worst year to have ever come about in the history of humanity. My Vietnam War veteran grandfather keeps telling me that things could be a lot worse, and he always starts going on with his boring stories that he’s already tried to tell me a hundred times before. Sometimes he even cries. Ugh, so lame. He doesn’t understand anything. He doesn’t even have a Reddit account! If he doesn’t even know who George Michael or Carrie Fisher are, why does his opinion matter at all? I mean it. Everything has been so bad this year that lately I’ve routinely been having mental breakdowns in the middle of whatever I’m doing and crying like an inconsolable child for hours on end. No one in the history of the world has ever had it as bad as me. Continue reading Ten Things I’d Enjoy More Than 2016
If you are one of the two people that read this blog, you already know that I think Kylie Jenner is the most inspirational human being on the planet Earth. Everything she does is breathtaking. Remarkable. Sensational. Magnificent!! I can’t help but wonder how one person is capable of being so perfect in every single way. She is an inspiration to me and millions of other Kylieheads. A brave woman who is not afraid to show the world who she really is, and it fills me with overwhelming joy and gratitude to know that there is a woman out there in the spotlight showing all of the young women in the world that they have more to offer the world than just their bodies. Anyone with half a brain can see that there’s far more to Kylie than her lip injections and expensive, surgically enhanced ass. Much more! I hope you all will join me on this trip down memory lane for all of the times Kylie Jenner made her most inspirational posts online and showed the world that she is far above all of the shallow, vapid Hollywood drones.
The ongoing comedy feud between alt-right spokesman Sam Hyde and left-wing media mogul Tim Heidecker came to a head yesterday morning when Hyde called in to Mr. Heidecker’s Facebook Live show to accuse the Tim and Eric’s Awesome Show star of pulling strings to get his own Adult Swim show, World Peace, off the air, motivated by political disagreements that have caused them to repeatedly clash over the past several weeks. The exchange was heated, and very personal, with both men becoming infuriated and raising their voices at one another. Is it possible that the animosity between the two performers could have been motivated by something other than politics? Is there an unspoken connection between these two towering giants of the alternative comedy scene? Some startling new evidence uncovered by the Tall Peters investigative team suggests that this just might be the case. Continue reading BREAKING: NEW DOCUMENTS REVEAL THAT SAM HYDE IS TIM HEIDECKER’S ILLEGITIMATE CHILD
“It nearly scared me half to death,” says Marsha Wolfman of Plano, TX, describing a harrowing experience at the bank last Thursday. “I was waiting in line to deposit my check, when suddenly this terrifying clown walked in. And before I knew what was happening, it walked right up to one of the sales agents and started applying for a loan!” Wolfman, a working single mother of three, described the clown as a six-foot-tall male wearing creepy clown makeup and a silly hat. “I’m just glad my kids weren’t with me. They would have had nightmares for weeks!” The Plano police have yet to offer an official statement at this time, but they have assured concerned locals that they are taking the matter very seriously. Continue reading Clown Epidemic Grows More Severe as Clowns Attempt to Participate in Society