That Hideous “Dinosaur Tail” Is Nothing but More FAKE NEWS and LIBERAL PROPAGANDA

Have you seen this thing? This hideous turd stuck in Jell-O that everyone keeps blabbing on about? Well, if you haven’t, a chunk of rock was found with… wait for it: a “dinosaur tail” inside of it. Yeah, people STILL believe in dinosaurs even after they’ve been debunked time and time again by people who know far more about the world than any scientist I’ve ever met. Seriously. Why do people keep humoring these archaeologist frauds? Can’t they see that these scientists are pawns of the liberal media being paid to poison our minds with outlandish beliefs and take our attention off of the things in life that are truly important? We should be focusing on ways to make our planet into something we can finally be proud of instead of doting on this false past that is nothing more than a fantasy. Continue reading That Hideous “Dinosaur Tail” Is Nothing but More FAKE NEWS and LIBERAL PROPAGANDA

10 Scientifically-Proven, Undeniable Facts That Explain Why White Men Are Inferior To All Other Humans

In recent months, tensions surrounding the hotly contested 2016 presidential election have given rise to an exciting and dynamic new political movement called the “alt-right.” Though it originated on 4chan, a website mainly associated with anime-obsessed pedophiles, it has now spread all the way to Reddit, which is, by contrast, a bastion of civilized, intelligent discussion. Most shockingly, these alt-righters have now even been spotted gathering together in real life on occasion, sharing bold new ideas about the global Jewish conspiracy and the degeneracy of feminism. Since the alt-right movement is made up entirely of white males, one of their biggest bones of contention is an anti-white agenda that they perceive in the modern media, citing the liberal, Jew-run entertainment industry’s tendency to commit such appalling acts as casting nonwhite actors in a Star Wars movie, or hiring a woman to write a TV show. Continue reading 10 Scientifically-Proven, Undeniable Facts That Explain Why White Men Are Inferior To All Other Humans

Why  Frogs Are So Good At Being Memes

At least six thousand years ago, when dinosaurs ruled the earth, there was only one continent, zero memes, and only two genders. The tyranny of the ‘saurs saw a soar in the oppression of other vertebrates; fish, once proud supple muscular warriors of the land, fled to the dark ocean. Birds, gallant rapists of the forest floor had to grow wings and take their weird dicks up to the cold skies. Mammals lived in holes and fucked each other quietly up the arses. Reptiles also had slimier, more flamboyant cousins called amphibians who were rightfully shunned because of their pathetic name for a class of vertebrates that only highlights that all they were ever good for was being an evolutionary bridge between land and water. Continue reading Why  Frogs Are So Good At Being Memes

BREAKING: NEW DOCUMENTS REVEAL THAT SAM HYDE IS TIM HEIDECKER’S ILLEGITIMATE CHILD

The ongoing comedy feud between alt-right spokesman Sam Hyde and left-wing media mogul Tim Heidecker came to a head yesterday morning when Hyde called in to Mr. Heidecker’s Facebook Live show to accuse the Tim and Eric’s Awesome Show star of pulling strings to get his own Adult Swim show, World Peace, off the air, motivated by political disagreements that have caused them to repeatedly clash over the past several weeks. The exchange was heated, and very personal, with both men becoming infuriated and raising their voices at one another. Is it possible that the animosity between the two performers could have been motivated by something other than politics? Is there an unspoken connection between these two towering giants of the alternative comedy scene? Some startling new evidence uncovered by the Tall Peters investigative team suggests that this just might be the case. Continue reading BREAKING: NEW DOCUMENTS REVEAL THAT SAM HYDE IS TIM HEIDECKER’S ILLEGITIMATE CHILD

What to Do with All This Leftover Turkey??

Well, Peter Heads, Thanksgiving is finally over. I don’t know about you all, but I had to write a letter to Old Saint Nick asking for a brand new belt to restrain my overwhelming girth. Heh, I’m just kidding, gang. I don’t need a belt because I never change out of my piss-stained sweatpants. Anyway, it’s that time again when we are all faced with the same question that haunts us year after year: What the heck am I gonna do with all this leftover turkey? Continue reading What to Do with All This Leftover Turkey??

“Frasier Crane”: Part Three

There’s a lot of deeply upsetting stuff going on in the news these days, but here at Tall Peters, we’re committed to reporting the news that matters most to us. And the big news here at Tall Peters HQ is that our anonymous source just shared with us yet another tantalizing glimpse at Kelsey Grammer’s failed screenplay, Frasier Crane. But the bad news is, in this latest update, things really take a turn for the worse for our old pal Frasier.

Read part one and part two exclusively on Tall Peters. Continue reading “Frasier Crane”: Part Three

UPDATE: Six More Exclusive Leaked Pages From Kelsey Grammer’s “Frasier” Screenplay

We’ve just received another exclusive leak from our anonymous source who previously shared the first four pages of Kelsey Grammer’s blacklisted screenplay Frasier Crane with us. In the second scene of Grammer’s infamous lost screenplay, we get a peek into our Frasier’s current lifestyle and domestic issues. Plus, a familiar old flame reappears for a very physical encounter. But we won’t spoil it for you! Read for yourself: Continue reading UPDATE: Six More Exclusive Leaked Pages From Kelsey Grammer’s “Frasier” Screenplay

EXCLUSIVE: Leaked Scene from Lost “Frasier” Reboot Screenplay

In 2013, sensing the popularity of reboots and sequels to popular franchises, Kelsey Grammer saw an opportunity to revive his beloved TV character, Dr. Frasier Crane. With the blessing of surviving Frasier creators Peter Casey and David Lee, Grammer arranged a pitch meeting with NBCUniversal. But the execs were stunned two weeks later, when the former Cheers regular showed up with not just a pitch, but a completed draft of a feature-length screenplay. Continue reading EXCLUSIVE: Leaked Scene from Lost “Frasier” Reboot Screenplay

5 Upcoming VR Games We Can’t Wait to Play

The future is here, folks. Virtual reality has arrived, and it’s revolutionizing the gaming industry as we know it. With VR, the possibilities are limitless: we can visit distant worlds, explore the depths of the oceans, and experience things we never thought possible, all from the comfort of our gaming rooms. So strap on your goggles and check out this list of the upcoming VR games that we’re most excited about here at Tall Peters! Continue reading 5 Upcoming VR Games We Can’t Wait to Play