Tag Archives: cash money

How to Shill Your Way to Moderate Success

Listen, we all want to be a big star. Go on Instagram and what do you see? A flood of people fighting for attention with their fingers crossed hoping that someday they will be the .001% to be hand picked by God and wake up one morning in an enormous Beverly Hills mansion. Some keep trying until they end up on the streets, insane with delusion, while others give up and fall into the routine of telling themselves every morning at 4 AM to go to their job at the hip new coffee joint in the city that they are perfectly happy working for minimum wage. Maybe someday they will become a manager and achieve a small piece of that pie we all want so bad. Everyone wants to see big numbers when they check their bank balance and buy nice cars to post pictures of on Facebook. Heck, it’s the American Dream! But how in the world do you achieve something like that these days when there is so much competition in the job market and so many people are struggling to make ends meet? Continue reading How to Shill Your Way to Moderate Success

A Broke Dad’s Guide to Christmas

We’ve all been there. After another year of pissing away all your money on useless gadgets, nights out with your buddies, and get-rich-quick schemes, you realize that Christmas is around the corner again and you’re flat broke. Your bank account’s in the red, your credit cards are all maxed out, and you just know your boss is gonna stiff you on the holiday bonus because he’s still mad about the time you accidentally set fire to the men’s room. So what’s a dad to do? If you don’t bring home any presents, your family will hate you forever. Your kids will spit in your face, and your wife will never look at you again. But don’t you worry, because Tall Peters is at your service with some creative gift suggestions that won’t cost you a penny. Continue reading A Broke Dad’s Guide to Christmas

What to Do with All This Leftover Turkey??

Well, Peter Heads, Thanksgiving is finally over. I don’t know about you all, but I had to write a letter to Old Saint Nick asking for a brand new belt to restrain my overwhelming girth. Heh, I’m just kidding, gang. I don’t need a belt because I never change out of my piss-stained sweatpants. Anyway, it’s that time again when we are all faced with the same question that haunts us year after year: What the heck am I gonna do with all this leftover turkey? Continue reading What to Do with All This Leftover Turkey??